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What is a real man?
Every male has some
idea of the man he wants to be. Deep in the chambers of his heart
he has plotted a course to achieve manhood and become a “Real Man”.
For instance, many boys think smoking around their teenage friends
will demonstrate manhood. Perhaps if he can become sexually
involved with one or more girls he will achieve manhood according to
his spiritually shallow peers.
Unfortunately, when
a man has finally measured up, and been accepted by all his buddies,
he then must spend what can be a lifelong quest of measuring up with
girlfriends, fiancés and ultimately a wife. Perhaps one day if he
is smart, he will realize everybody has a different expectation of
what a real man should be. Let this be a notice: keeping up with
others, and trying to impress people will lead to despair sooner or
later (Ec. 11:9). Someone will always have more money; and the
competition to own more tools, gadgets and technology will never be
won.
Through the years
Hollywood has sought occasion to portray men as bozos, losers and
fools. These days, if a man has any sense of Godliness he is
homophobic, intolerant and/or brainwashed by the evil “right wing”.
Think of the shows you have watched through the years that have
demonstrated this point. Even The Flintstones is guilty of
de-masculating the role of husbands and men through the portrayal of
selfish simpletons such as Fred and Barney.
The ironic truth
is, while Hollywood portrays the perfect man as a lean, muscular (1
Tim 4:8), athletic, multi-talented, rich business (Mat 19:23-24)
owner or CEO type who sails on the weekends, dines in fine
restaurants, and flies coast to coast during the week using a credit
card that never ends, the single women that are past thirty-five and
have two children out of wedlock or a busted marriage are starting
their lives all over again in search of an ordinary looking man that
will hold a moderate job (Pr. 22:2), come home after work, dine at
the local pizza or barbeque spot, and love her children like she
does. Tabloids and soaps just don’t get it, so they continue in
their fantasy world only to deceive young gullible women into
believing lies about men and relationships.
Young men are
equally deceived by the beautiful (Pr 6:25-26) airbrushed women in
the swimsuit editions of magazines, porn, and prime-time
television. For women to compete with the above mentioned, most
would have to dedicate hours a day working out and pampering
themselves with expensive cosmetics and various medical procedures
that would financially bankrupt any normal family home.
I have often
wondered why the Scriptures never delved into the details of
marriage, especially marriages of prominent figures in the Word of
God. Wouldn’t it be great if we could read about Abraham’s day to
day struggles? We do know that according to scripture Abraham had
to be married to every man’s dream. We know that Moses picked a
wife that had a smart father (Ex 18:17-19). Solomon loved women so
much he collected them like coins and stamps. Why didn’t God open
up the life of one of the Apostles so we could get a glimpse into
the day to day joys as well as trials of marriage, raising kids, and
such? If we could see into the intimate relationships of great men
and women in the Bible we could define the “Real Man”.
I am persuaded,
after careful examination of Scripture, why we don’t see these
relationships under a text microscope. For starters, we would
likely follow man instead of God. Both women and men would takes
sides with each spouse and loose the literal or figurative message
being conveyed. The fact is, people like to mimic what they
perceive as perfection. Could you see churches built all over town
proclaiming their doctrinal stands on what they see as a “Real Man”,
perfect relationships, and tenets according to their favorite
relationships in scripture?
One must remember
there is only one perfect relationship and that is between the
Trinity itself. Even a third of the angels in heaven were not
content with their relationship with God. Is the relationship
between sinful man and God perfect? No. The Blood provides
atonement (Rom 5:11) for our sins; and the atonement is a covering
of our weak, pathetic, desperately (Jer. 17:9) wicked heart that
must be glorified before entering (1 Cor. 15:50-54) into the
presence of Almighty God.
The search for a
perfect man on this earth is not only foolish, but will lead to
absolute failure down the road. A passionate hunt for the perfect
woman is a useless pursuit as well. The quest for the perfect
friend on this earth is futile. Finding a faultless guide to
raising children by example of others is a useless mission. In
fact, anything outside of God’s infallible Word when it comes to
perfect relationships and expectations of what a real woman
or real man should be is categorically useless because of the
inevitable failure that comes most likely sooner than later.
The answer to
understanding a real man and achieving manhood must come from
a source that is perfect and unfettered by the ways of this world.
The useless, putrid garbage that oozes from contaminated tabloids
and check-out counter magazine racks fall short of an ounce of truth
about real men, real women and true love. The newest
diet, diet pill, latest celebrity break-up, and 100 ways to have
better sex will not lend so much as a word to perfect love and
harmony between man and woman and mankind and God. No mortal man
will ever discover a better way to peace (Ps 37:37) and
understanding of who he is outside of God’s Word. Man’s knowledge
and all his ways can only gratify his flesh instead of feeding his
spirit.
In Christianity, a
fundamentalist is taught to align themselves with Scripture. As a
fundamental Pentecostal I not only align, but I look to Scripture as
the final source of all wisdom and knowledge. Those that claim to
be Christian, but do not look to God’s Word as infallible, find it
easy to lean toward an evolving gospel. While we must make changes
to survive in this world, God’s Word never changes. As the
Scripture was inspired to be recorded by the hand of man, the
Inspirer is an Omniscient God who personifies the Beginning and
End. He doesn’t have to change and roll with the flow – God is,
was, and is to be.
“Want”… a battle
that rages everyday in the life of the saint and sinner. What do I
want? What do others want from me? What does my spouse want? What
does my boss want? What do my friends want? What does God want?
It’s all about want -- who will gain control and get what they
want.
Ever noticed in the
movies, the hero gets what he wanted. The hero gets the girl and
someone else loses their money, their fame, and, usually, their
woman. Perhaps this mentality psyches young girls to go after the
“Bad Boy” type. After all, the “Bad Boy” is always in control. He
tells his parents, his boss, and his friends what he will do and
what he won’t do. Many women see the “Bad Boy” type as security,
but deep down inside that “Bad Boy” is a little wounded Pooh Bear
that has been hurt and broken and has become callused by the pain
and anguish of his wounded heart.
The “Bad Boy” is
likely found in all men, but just like goats in a junk yard there
can only be one standing on the top of the wrecked car pile. The
war to control and get what we want is fought in the mind of men,
women and children. This desire is manifested in infants and stays
with us until we die or lose our minds.
The very sound of
the word “Man” denotes control unless identifying gender. The term
“A Real Man” has all kinds of implications depending on who says
it.
The greatest
assault against a “Man” is the same disgrace a little goat feels
when he looks up at the goat on top of the wreck. He will pursue to
scale the junk heap and challenge the goats until he wins the battle
or is shamed by failing to conquer. I don’t know why a goat has to
be king of the hill, but men are no different if they have not
surrendered their lives to Christ.
The battle is the
same. Men must decrease, and Christ must increase. A “Real Man” is
a man that has finally figured out that by lifting up Christ he
ultimately gains, through God’s promises, what he really wants. The
easiest way to the top is by surrendering at the bottom. For a man
to prove himself in worldly relationships he must get what he
wants. For man to have a pure relationship with the Lord he must
give up all his wants and follow God’s will. A man must realize he
was made in the image and likeness of God. Man must come to terms
that God must take full control, and every ounce of SELF, must be
poured out while the Spirit of God fully fills that void.
The works of the
flesh have to do with the fulfilling of self which is to
inadvertently worship the Devil. When we indulge ourselves with
self and our wants and desires we give praise and worship to the
enemy of our soul. We literally enter into worship and surrender
ourselves to the altar of Satan. To surrender self and exalt Our
Lord and Savior Jesus Christ is to truly worship. When we pour out
our self and lift up Jesus because we realize we are nothing without
Him we began to exercise worship.
When a man forfeits
his own will and surrenders to God’s perfect will, he is utterly
destined to victory. Unlike the goat at the top of the wreck that
stands for hours for no reason other than to make a useless point,
God sees real men as sheep that are led by his Spirit,
feeding on the best and greenest grass. The goats are in bondage to
a surrounding fence, encompassing junk, wrecks, and rejects of this
world. On the other hand, the sheep are led by their Shepherd to
still waters and green grass in the richest valleys with
breathtaking landscapes of beauty and splendor.
As a real
man picks up his new spiritual weapons which are not carnal, he is
fully armed for the fight ahead as well as the tricks and surprises
that would attack from behind. A real man submits to seeking
after the likeness and image of God. The instructions for his
adventurous pursuit are laid out in the Word of God. There is no
other way for a man to know God and increase in knowledge than to
know God through His Word.
The real man
seeks to please God by becoming Christ like in all his actions. Man
reads and understands God’s Word and takes on the wisdom and
knowledge into his soul and spirit. As the Word fills man’s heart
he is quickened, and the old selfish wants and desires quickly die.
As a man unites with Christ he becomes an unstoppable force that is
destined to great things. As he humbles himself on this earth to
fulfill God’s plan he is exalted in heaven to rule and reign with
Christ.
The war of “Self”
and “I want” cannot abound in the life of a Christian. Will we as
men fight the battle of “I want” over God’s will? Yes -- and very
frequently. Real men must aspire day by day, hour by hour to
lift up and exalt Christ and His perfect plan for our life.
As this world
produces its “real men” they stand over the wrecked and
repulsive junk heaps of this world. The fancy car, the big job, and
hot women all boil down to a constant pursuit to beat the other guy
and have more. More of what? More guilt, more drugs, more STD’s,
more health problems, and a fancier car that is outdated in three
months. Truth is, the more you own on this earth the more it costs
you to protect your assets from others. The world’s treasures are
always easy prey for those who would seek to topple your throne that
is built on a house of cards.
A real man
sees the wisdom of God’s Word and builds wisely, spends wisely, and
pursues wisely. While nobody is perfect, a real man loves
his Wife as Christ loved the Church. He takes the role as priest of
his house. He seeks after wisdom in raising his children. He is
careful to protect his home from those that would destroy his
marriage, his children, and his goods that God has so richly blessed
him with.
A real man
strives daily to personify the very character of Christ. He is a
great employee on his job because he is an ambassador for Christ.
He is a good dad because he seeks to raise his children in the ways
of the Lord. He is a good Husband because he loves his wife as
Christ loved the Church. He becomes a good friend because he
understands the friendship he has with Jesus. He is a good leader
because he has learned to serve with a meek spirit. He is a fair
judge because he understands righteousness as well the mercy of God.
A “Real Man” is a
true Christian. Is Man perfect? No. A real man understands that
for him to lead, he must follow. He knows that in order for him to
increase, he must learn to decrease. He knows that in order for him
to have, he must learn to give.
We can only learn
these truths form God’s Word. God desires us to look to Him for
insight and direction to becoming a man. Because each man, woman
and child in Scripture was imperfect, God knew that in order for us
to understand what a real man is, what a real relationship
is, we must look exclusively to His Word. The Lord in his infinite
wisdom never intended on anyone searching after a family or
personality in scripture to emulate. Rather, He intended on each
man to be educated in Scripture and strive to emulate Jesus Christ
every day of his life. |